


Always Check Ingredients

by useless_lesbean



Series: The Times Jaina Accidentally Got Her Gf High [2]
Category: World of Warcraft
Genre: Crack Fic, Established Relationship, F/F, accidental substance use, elves are big cats, fluffy crack, gone horribly wrong, meet the parents, stonedvanas, substance...use?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-12
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2020-03-01 07:31:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18795790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/useless_lesbean/pseuds/useless_lesbean
Summary: Jaina takes Sylvanas to meet her family, and new wine is brought out. First impressions aren'tthatimportant...right?





	Always Check Ingredients

**Author's Note:**

> Alright finally! Had this 90% written for weeks, but like a Fool, an absolute Buffoon, I started it in the middle and had to go back and write in a beginning

Everything was going better than she had expected. The thought of introducing Sylvanas to her parents had filled her with anxiety for weeks, despite the elf assuring her that everything would be fine.

And of course, she had been right. Sylvanas was charming and witty as ever, and she and Daelin and Katherine got on like fire on a house, commiserating about greenhorn troops and the stresses of command. Tandred had mentioned her being a better pick than Arthas, and Sylvanas had been all too happy to lambast the man who had tried to bully her away from Jaina. 

Jaina’s family had been delighted. Dinner was set amid much laughter and talk, and wine bought specifically for the occasion had been brought out. Imported, and infused with herbs to add flavor and ‘make one loose limbed and relaxed’, Katherine had claimed, that proved to be delicious. So delicious that the first and second bottles had quickly vanished.

She couldn’t be happier, really. Sylvanas liked her family, she could tell, and her family liked her. Really, Jaina should have known it was too good to last. She was regaling them with a tale about a hunting trip they had gone on when it all went wrong.

“I didn’t even _see_ a rabbit and she shot two before I could- Sylvanas?” Jaina stopped her story, noticing her girlfriend acting weird out of the corner of her eye. 

Sylvanas’s ears were drooping, but not in a response to something. More that they just...went limp. Lax.

Her eyes were wide, and she was staring at the table as if she had never seen it before.

“Sylvanas?”

“Where did it go?” Sylvanas whispered. Loudly. 

“What?”

The elf wiggled her hand in a vague gesture, canting her head. “The tree.”

Jaina blinked, flabbergasted. Her family looked equally befuddled, her father’s fork halfway to his mouth. Tandred still had a mouthful of wine. “What tree, Sylvanas?”

The elf lurched, sending dishes and tableware flying as she flattened herself against the table and pressed an ear to the wood.

“What the hell!?”

“It’s quiet.” Sylvanas whined, looking up at Jaina with big, imploring eyes. “I can’t hear it. Where did it go?”

She couldn’t hear a _table?_ The mage stared back at her, unable to make herself move in her shock. What could be wrong with her? Why was she acting like this, so suddenly? It was almost as if...oh no. 

She had to test her theory.

Jaina took hold of the end of her braid, tugging it around and over her shoulder. She leaned down just enough where it would dangle, wiggling the end and letting an enticing spark of arcane flare.

Her girlfriend’s ears, or at least the one not pressed to the table, shot upright. With none of her usual grace, Sylvanas tumbled from her seat to get closer to Jaina, fingers twitching for the end of her braid.

Tides.  
She stepped back, wincing when Sylvanas fell. Her guilt at that only lasted a brief moment, and then Sylvanas started trying to _climb her dress_ to get at her hair. Apparently she wasn’t aware that she had legs. There was a rip of fabric, and Jaina hastily shook her off and conjured a few sparkly balls of arcane light to distract her.

Sylvanas let out a loud, happy purr, falling back to the stone floor and poking at the lights over her head. Not unlike a giant cat.

It happened again. She had somehow gotten exposed to catnip _again._ Or worse. She seemed even less lucid. But _how_ had she gotten exposed?

“ _Jaina._ ”

Jaina glanced up, wincing at the fury on her parents faces. They were wiping spilled food and drink from their sleeves, and righting upended plates and goblets. Tandred was wiping moodily at his beard, wine staining his shirt. 

“What the hell is _wrong_ with her?” Daelin growled, jabbing an angry finger at them. Katherine picked up the nearly empty wine bottle with a scowl.

Jaina’s eyes locked on the bottle, comprehension dawning. The wine. The new, imported wine. The new, imported, infused wine.

“Mom…” Jaina slowly started, ignoring their anger for now, “What was that wine infused with?”

“How is that important right now?” Katherine frowned, shoving the cork in with a sharp, angry movement.

Jaina dragged a hand down her face, letting her eyes drift back down to her girlfriend. She was still reaching for the glowing lights that hovered tantalizingly out of reach, utterly fixated on the orbs of arcane. “Because she’s _drugged out of her mind._ ”

“I beg your pardon?”

“She’s high.” Jaina flinched, dreading having to meet their eyes. “I’ve seen it before- though not this bad. Elves have these reactions to certain herbs we think are fine. We accidentally _drugged_ her. What was in the wine?”

They were silent for a minute, and that did make Jaina look up.

Her mother was looking at the wine, a bit dubious. “The vendor said it was infused with sweet nettle, catmint, peacebloom, and sungrass.”

Oh _Tides._

Sungrass. The herb Modera said was five times stronger than catmint for elves.

Sungrass _and_ catmint. Jaina groaned, covering her face.

“I’m guessing that’s bad.” Daelin still sounded irritated, but no longer furious.

“Elves react just like cats to catmint.” Jaina explained, dispelling the lights with a flick of her fingers. Sylvanas made a confused sound. “And sungrass is like the same, but much, _much_ stronger. I had some catmint in a sachet under my pillow, before I knew it did this to her. As soon as she smelled it she went crazy.”

“Jaina.” She glanced up at her father’s voice, finding a strange look in his eye. “Why was she close enough to your pillow to smell it?”

Katherine promptly punched him in the shoulder.

“ _What?_ ”

“You know very well what. Now, what does she need, Jaina?” Her mother asked. Daelin wisely fell silent under her glare, muttering sullenly to himself and rubbing his shoulder. “Is there something to counteract it?”

Jaina shook her head, leaning over to take hold of Sylvanas’s arm and pull. “Just time. Come on, sweetheart. We’re going to go to bed early, how does that sound?”

“Can’t.” Sylvanas slurred. She was limp, utterly deadweight, resisting Jaina’s attempts to pull her up.

“Why?” Jaina groaned in frustration, giving up. “Just move your legs and stand!”

“If I get up gravity will stop.” The elf said, completely serious. Her ears were back to drooping.

There was a strangled snort. Jaina glared sharply at her brother to shut him up, crouching down next to Sylvanas.

“How ‘bout I cast a spell?” She offered, lightly touching her cheek to get hazy eyes to focus on her. Briefly, at least. “That way gravity will be fine if you get up.”

“‘m already anchored.” Sylvanas murmured. “Melted in the earth.”

Oh for fuck’s sake.

Jaina waved her hand, creating dramatic sparks. “There. Gravity is safe. You’re unmelted.”

“No ‘m not.” The elf struggled to shake her head, “I feel it. It’s okay. I’ll stay, for you. You need gravity.”

Well, that was oddly sweet. Counterproductive to her goals, but sweet. Maybe if she distracted her…

Jaina crouched over her, and untied her hair, running her fingers through it to loosen it from her braid. Sylvanas’s eyes fixed on it immediately, just as she hoped. Jaina cast again, sending a tingle of arcane out and around her hair. Enough to be an irresistible lure to any elf. Sylvanas’s hand was in her hair almost instantly, toying with the long strands.

“Come on, my love.” Jaina coaxed her, taking hold of her arms again. She slowly stood, drawing her girlfriend up with her. “That’s right…”

She still didn’t seem to really be cognizant of her legs, but now Jaina could haul her over her shoulder.It had been awhile since she had had to lift something like this, not since last time she had been amongst her father’s crew, but Sylvanas was lighter than she seemed. Besides, all Jaina had to hold her close and steady, and then she could teleport them.

Sylvanas was purring again, nuzzling and lazily tugging at her hair. And wiggling. So. Much. _Wiggling._

“We’ll see you in the morning.” Jaina sighed, shifting Sylvanas up higher. She tried very, very hard to not react when a slender hand suddenly gave her ass a curious pat. And then start squeezing. Tides, take her now. “But please _don’t_ come get us for breakfast. She’ll likely wake up with a massive headache.”

“Separate bedroom- _ow!_ Stop that, woman!”

Jaina rolled her eyes, gathering her mana. Sylvanas squeaked in delight at the feeling of her magic under her skin, the hand on her ass squeezing down harder. Concentrating and holding her steady, Jaina teleported them to her room. 

With a groan of relief, Jaina heaved Sylvanas off her shoulder onto the bed, gently disentangling her hair from the elf’s fingers.

Or trying to.

Sylvanas proved to be very against the idea. 

“Please just let me get our boots off.” Jaina finally said, shaking her off once again. “Then you can play with my hair all you want.”

The elf finally let go of her hair, and Jaina moved to pull her boots off- only to have Sylvanas fold over her head, nuzzling between her shoulders. Jaina ended up bent in half as well, her cheek pressed to Sylvanas’s thigh.

“Sylvanas.”

A happy coo was her answer.

_“Sylvanas.”_

Jaina felt the elf’s arms stretch down her back, all of their weight resting on her. Then strong fingers started kneading her ass. “So soft…”

Her eye twitched. For the love of-

With a flick of her hand, Jaina summoned bands of arcane to pull Sylvanas off of her and pin her back to the bed.

“Jainaaaa-”

Jaina ignored her plaintive whining, focusing on her boots. She succeeded in pulling one off, with far more difficulty than it should have entailed. And Sylvanas whimpered and squirmed like she was killing her instead, which didn’t help matters.

But she did not want dirty boots in her bed, damnit!

“Hold on, love.” Jaina tried to soothe her, rubbing at her calf. “You’ll be so much more comfortable if I take this other boot off too.”

Sylvanas whined again, utterly devastated.

She was going to _kill_ whatever vendor sold that wine to her mother. Hells, she’d kill the winemaker too!

Jaina tore the second boot off, followed by her own, as fast as she could. Sylvanas made heartbroken sounds the whole time, near tears.

“It’s okay,” Jaina murmured, snapping her fingers to banish restraints. She lay down on top of the elf, nuzzling into her hair and stroking behind an ear. “You’re okay. I’m here.”

“You took my feet,” Sylvanas slurred out the accusation. “I need them.”

Jaina barely suppressed her sigh, digging her fingers in to the spot behind Sylvanas’s ear that never failed to make her melt. “I’ll give them back. I just wanted to cuddle.”

“I need them,” The elf sniffled. “But you can have them.”  
Her hands were back to patting and kneading her ass, one occasionally pulling at her hair. A happy purr rumbled out of Sylvanas’s chest. She nuzzled in close, gently setting her teeth in her earlobe and nibbling. 

Jaina had just started to fully relax when Sylvanas smacked one hand down on her ass, giggling to herself.

Tides, why her?

**Author's Note:**

> next in the series is probably an interlude or two, including the '''morning after''' :'D


End file.
